I’m a slightly bionic, geeky, midlands-based gay man rebuilding life after a difficult decade. Hip replacements, loss, loneliness, and a reset brought me back to basics—and into a journey of rediscovering who I am. This blog is where I unpack that process: health, confidence, kink, friendship, grief, growth, and everything in between. Expect honesty, self-reflection, a bit of tech and local curiosity, and the story of becoming a more comfortable, connected, slightly older gay man—one step at a time.
Some days recovery feels hopeful. Other days it feels frustrating, exhausting and painfully slow. Today’s Operation Restoration update is an honest reminder that rest isn’t failure, low days aren’t the same as going backwards, and healing rarely happens in a straight line. Sometimes the hardest lesson to learn is giving…
Keep readingSometimes recovery comes in unexpected forms. What started as curiosity became an evening built on trust, friendship and discovering that perhaps my anxious brain isn’t always right. Operation Restoration continues to surprise me.
Keep readingSometimes the hardest battles aren’t with other people—they’re with ourselves. For years I’ve acted as both prosecutor and defence in an endless trial over who I should be, what I should want, and whether I’m allowed to change. Maybe recovery isn’t about fixing myself. Maybe it’s about finally accepting all…
Keep readingThe dreams keep changing. Witches, thorns, impossible cities, hidden worlds and now a room infected from within. But underneath all of them seems to be the same message. Stay put. Don’t risk anything. Don’t change. And honestly? I’m getting pretty bloody tired of listening to it.
Keep readingSomewhere between the nightmares, the strange dream worlds, the loneliness and the slow process of recovery, I’ve realised that what I’m looking for isn’t really change. It’s trust, friendship, connection, and permission to stop fighting myself quite so hard.
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